On the Other Side of the Filter
How to Set Boundaries and Have a Better Relationship With Social Media
How healthy is your relationship with social media?
Ask yourself the following questions:
Why am I seeking approval from others to determine my happiness?
What else can I do in my life to bring me more joy?
Am I spending quality time working on my real life relationships?
As human beings our interactions with one another truly help us to thrive in the magical world we live in. Through social interactions we learn how to develop our social skills, our self confidence and sense of belonging. The world of social media simply provides us with an extension of self, where we choose how we show up to the world. Here we have the opportunity to mask the darkness with our highlight reel and reveal only the ‘golden’ parts of our life.
In a world that is more connected than ever, as a collective we feel more lonely. Although we have contact with others at the reach of our fingertips, our true deep connections come far and few between. Do you ever feel of comparison, envy, and disassociation arise when scrolling through your feed, or do catch yourself capturing the moment purely to post on the gram?
I think it is fair to say that we are all guilty of this from time to time, not always with bad intentions, rather we are just simply conditioned to behaviours of our society all in the hope to increase our health and happiness. These feelings of happiness that arise when we receive comments likes and more followers is stimulated via dopamine (our reward hormone) where it inspires us to take action to meet our needs and desires (Sonne and Lopez-Ojeda, 2019). With this being said, it is important for us to take a step back to reassess the ‘why’ behind our actions. Here you might like to ask yourself the following questions
Why am I seeking approval from others to determine my happiness?
What else can I do in my life to bring me more joy?
Am I spending quality time working on my real life relationships?
It is important to note that social media is not always bad, where it can truly deliver some incredible benefits to our lives. Here we have the opportunity to fill our feed with motivational quotes, connect with others on a similar journey or simply discover some incredible food inspo to drool over. These feelings of belonging serves Level 3 on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, where these positive feelings have the ability to motivate favourable behaviour.
Just like our ‘real friends’ we have the ability to attract or let go of those who light up our life. Here I gently encourage you to take some precious time to reassess the pages you choose to follow, as this will directly impact your social media experience. Setting some time aside each day to unfollow those accounts that you feel do not serve your greater good is an incredibly powerful and fulfilling exercise. Here you begin to take control again and truly look after your heart.
One last thing, I encourage you to create some nourishing boundaries around the length and times of day that you choose to engage in social media. Many of us are in the habit of flicking through our feed upon waking, whilst eating and before bed. It is important to note that this behaviour can often be used to distract ourselves from sitting with our emotions, where left untamed can create an almighty monster inside of us.
See below for our top six tips to create more nourishing rituals around social media;
Place your phone on flight mode by 8pm in another room or on the other side of your bedroom.
Read a book before bed instead of scrolling through your feed.
Upon waking prepare a mug of warm lemon water and take this time to sit in the sunshine, journal your thoughts or have a deep stretch.
Download the app f.lux on your laptop and phone to automatically cancel the blue light on your devices, as this will help to regulate your circadian rhythm and support your nervous system. Click here to download f.lux.
Set two times in the day that you check your social media, this could be during your morning tea break and when you finish work for the day. Here you can get your ‘fix’ instead of allowing it to take over your life.
Turn off all social media notifications on your phone. Here this allows you to take control of when you choose to access social media and also helps to reduce your ‘fight flight’ response to help soothe your nervous system.
We hope this information has helped you reassess your relationship with social media, to allow you to connect to your heart space more often and ensure you have the mechanisms to strengthen your self care and happiness.
Click here to listen to my recent podcast with the incredible team at JCN Clinic where we dive into the good, the bad and the ugly of all things social media and our health.
